Random thoughts

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Weather Bob
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Re: Random thoughts

Postby Weather Bob » Sun Nov 11, 2018 8:32 am

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Ducatista
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Re: Random thoughts

Postby Ducatista » Sun Nov 11, 2018 9:45 am

narcoleptish wrote:I love dress-up events and when I was younger I would have totally gone to that and felt like I could fit in. Now I'm just a 50 year old loser driving my girlfriend's car.

What!

That's the fun of dress-up events, IMO. They're always a mix of upper crust, believers in the cause, and people who just like to take a dip in the fanciness. Dress the part (new, vintage, thrift, who cares), Uber or Lyft it like everybody else, and swank it up for the evening. Have your driver take you through the Taco Bell drive-thru on the way home, shake off your fancy clothes, and cozy up to cheap-ass tacos and SNL on the DVR.

narcoleptish
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Re: Random thoughts

Postby narcoleptish » Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:52 am

Enough with build-your-own burrito/sandwich/whatever shops, can you just pick a fucking recipe and make it. Watching a typical underpaid and indifferent restaurant employee hand-shovel my burrito together has a way of curbing my appetite. I'm done with them.

narcoleptish
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Re: Random thoughts

Postby narcoleptish » Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:57 am

Ducatista wrote:
narcoleptish wrote:I love dress-up events and when I was younger I would have totally gone to that and felt like I could fit in. Now I'm just a 50 year old loser driving my girlfriend's car.

What!

That's the fun of dress-up events, IMO. They're always a mix of upper crust, believers in the cause, and people who just like to take a dip in the fanciness. Dress the part (new, vintage, thrift, who cares), Uber or Lyft it like everybody else, and swank it up for the evening. Have your driver take you through the Taco Bell drive-thru on the way home, shake off your fancy clothes, and cozy up to cheap-ass tacos and SNL on the DVR.



I can still have fun, I'm just having a hard time being an unsuccessful person in their 50's. I was always sure I'd do better.

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Re: Random thoughts

Postby Bwis53 » Sat Nov 17, 2018 11:01 am

If you like what you do and have friends, you're blessed. I got much happier when I realized what acceptance truly is.
Last edited by Bwis53 on Sat Nov 17, 2018 11:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

Bwis53
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Re: Random thoughts

Postby Bwis53 » Sat Nov 17, 2018 11:06 am

narcoleptish wrote:Enough with build-your-own burrito/sandwich/whatever shops, can you just pick a fucking recipe and make it. Watching a typical underpaid and indifferent restaurant employee hand-shovel my burrito together has a way of curbing my appetite. I'm done with them.
I sometimes eat at Milio's, Campus Mall. They're usually friendly and build me a delicious "Godfather". When I leave, I lean toward the counter and say,"Thanks, it was delicious!" You can make a person's whole day that way.

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Re: Random thoughts

Postby narcoleptish » Sat Nov 17, 2018 12:30 pm

Thanks Bwis. I'm thankful for the things I do have. It's just the money. Money's a big thing and life (mine) would be so much better with more of it.

I like Milio's, they don't ask me how to make my sandwich.

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Re: Random thoughts

Postby gargantua » Sat Nov 17, 2018 12:55 pm

In my experience, Gino's doesn't ask me how to make my sandwich, other than asking for my bread preference if I forget to volunteer it.

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Re: Random thoughts

Postby Bwis53 » Sat Nov 17, 2018 1:25 pm

narcoleptish wrote:Thanks Bwis. I'm thankful for the things I do have. It's just the money. Money's a big thing and life (mine) would be so much better with more of it.

I like Milio's, they don't ask me how to make my sandwich.

Recently, I realized I was spending too much on my one credit card. I sought the help of my credit union and a financial advisor. They weren't very helpful. I subscribe to Stacy Johnson 's Money Talks News. I searched for credit card help and budgeting. I found his advice very helpful, plus his own example budget. My ex and I used to run a carpet/upholstery cleaning business. I always thought brainstorming with our friendly "competitors" (we were offered) and advisors would have been smart. Don't forget your hopes and dreams. My own recent decisions reinforced that I have a limit as to what I'm willing to do for money. I value time over money. I do side gigs and budget.

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Re: Random thoughts

Postby snoqueen » Sat Nov 17, 2018 2:48 pm

I can still have fun, I'm just having a hard time being an unsuccessful person in their 50's. I was always sure I'd do better.


This is so very common, and in addition I think it's driving a lot of the political malaise we see today. I know it's unsettling to be disappointed with the course one's life has taken, and I think particularly so for men.

I'm not sure this is true for all women, but maybe (among those over 50) our expectations were lower to start with. I did enjoyable, skilled, but definitely blue-collar work most of my life even though I got a college degree immediately after high school. Unfortunately, when I was young I was such a flake I don't think I was promotable or trustworthy to begin with, so I came late to setting up any particular career. (Later this resolved itself and I ended up rock steady, but too late.) I definitely stayed below the level my parents attained in terms of jobs and income, and they were just middle class at best.

All this is OK from my point of view because I didn't want all the "finer" stuff anyway. For instance, I can happily pass on events where you have to dress up, and I don't care to spend money on a big car, house, or expensive vacations. I want to feel comfortable and within reach of friends, and I've got that.

I don't know what to tell ya. Maybe wish you were born a woman?

I wish there were more women on here to give feedback, but there are only a few. Still, it's my two cents.

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Re: Random thoughts

Postby Bwis53 » Sat Nov 17, 2018 4:20 pm

Hindsight is easy. I do have regrets, but why flog myself for the rest of my life? As a child of immigrants I had big dreams and expectations. It wasn't until I retired and looked back, I realized not getting the "American Dream" is okay . It is a waste of precious time and energy moaning and groaning over something I can't change. I know people who do that and want to drag the world down with them. I accept what happened and decide how I want to carry on. I get to choose! I found working with garments satisfying. It had good variety. My favorite jobs were in picture framing galleries. I was able to impress my bosses. One boss warned me to be careful of Fanny Garver. We got along great and liked each other's taste. You get to choose where to go from here!

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Re: Random thoughts

Postby gargantua » Sat Nov 17, 2018 10:57 pm

I think as we get older and hopefully wiser, we tend to reflect on our lives. Things we would do differently if we could, paths not taken, people we wish we'd appreciated more, and so on. I think that this is pretty normal, as long as reflecting on the past doesn't keep us from enjoying the present. I know I sometimes struggle with that balance. My life isn't everything I wanted it to be either, but I really don't have anything to complain about. I try to be mindful about how fortunate I am.

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Re: Random thoughts

Postby nonyuppie » Sun Nov 18, 2018 1:37 pm

My life's probably not what I would have wanted if I had thought about it. But I didn't so it's just fine.

Madsci
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Re: Random thoughts

Postby Madsci » Sun Nov 18, 2018 8:12 pm

When I turned 50, I gave myself permission to slow down and breathe. I never wanted to be rich but be comfortable enough to not worry about the roof over my head or food in my belly.
I think I have been very lucky in life. Things just seem to work out. For someone who knows what hunger feels like, I sometimes can't believe my good fortune. That's why I give back as often as possible. It helps to know and help others less fortunate.

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Re: Random thoughts

Postby Henry Vilas » Mon Nov 19, 2018 9:18 am

As I reflect on my past and think about my younger days, I recall this saying: "Youth is wasted on the young."


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