Headlines that need no help

If it's news, but not politics, then it goes here.
Shorty
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Headlines that need no help

Postby Shorty » Tue Jan 16, 2018 7:30 am

Mashed potatoes. Clever.

Potato truck mashed under train overpass in Milwaukee
https://www.channel3000.com/news/potato ... /686020208

Shorty
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby Shorty » Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:57 pm

Flight carrying dozens of plumbers diverted due to broken toilet
https://www.channel3000.com/news/sharea ... /694972779

"We would have liked to fix the restrooms, but unfortunately it had to be done from the outside and we did not take the opportunity to send a plumber [out] at 10,000 metres," said Frank Olsen, CEO of Rorkjop plumbing company."

Henry Vilas
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby Henry Vilas » Fri Mar 09, 2018 8:08 pm


Roy
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby Roy » Sat Apr 07, 2018 9:08 am


Shorty
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby Shorty » Thu May 17, 2018 8:01 am

6 squirrels stuck in a jam after getting their tails tangled
https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/1949af74-9 ... a-jam.html

Image

doppel
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby doppel » Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:02 pm

From the Onion:

Bill Clinton Admits That Knowing What He Knows Now He
Would Have Still Preyed On Woman

Henry Vilas
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby Henry Vilas » Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:10 pm

I like that one from the Onion. Got a suggestion for a similar one for Trump?

doppel
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby doppel » Tue Jun 05, 2018 5:48 pm

How's about Trump Humps Pumps and Dumps.

gargantua
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby gargantua » Tue Jun 05, 2018 6:53 pm

One thing i like about the Onion is that it skewers people on both sides. It hits the GOP more, but they don't pass when a Clinton offers a good target.

Beaver
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby Beaver » Mon Aug 27, 2018 5:14 pm


Shorty
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby Shorty » Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:43 am

Find any underwear and shoes lately?

Man who caused scene, exposed himself at Mickey's Bar attempts to swim away from police
https://www.channel3000.com/news/crime/ ... /802533767

"Police said an officer used a flashlight to illuminate the man as he swam four city blocks down the Yahara River. The entire time, the officer and other first responders were putting plans in motion to save the man from drowning, should he go under. While in the Yahara, the man swore at the primary officer, and at one point threw his shoes at the officer. The man also threw his pants and underwear on the shoreline. The swimmer tried to take off his shirt, but failed.

Eventually, he got on to dry land just as he was about to enter Lake Monona. In the report, the primary officer said a Madison firefighter "was outstanding in developing rapport with the suspect and convincing him to get out of the water." The MFD wrapped the man in a towel. Police were able to recover his pants, although "we never found his underwear and shoes," according to the primary officer's report.

The wet man was not happy, and berated those who had worked to help him, police said. He was taken to jail".

Henry Vilas
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby Henry Vilas » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:14 am


Shorty
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Re: Headlines that need no help

Postby Shorty » Mon Dec 17, 2018 2:51 pm

Shitty news from Lancaster.

Tractor, manure tank slides down icy hill, spills 3,000 gallons of manure
https://www.channel3000.com/news/tracto ... /937418535


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