Headlines that need some help

If it's news, but not politics, then it goes here.
Cornelius Gotchberg
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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby Cornelius Gotchberg » Mon Mar 26, 2018 10:25 am

The Sperm Of American White Men Is Sought By Rich Women And Lesbians In Brazil

The sperm of American white men, if not a man himself, is much sought by fertile Brazilian women out to find not mates, but the sperm to give them fair-skinned, blue-eyed children The Wall Street Journal describes as off-spring with 'jewel-tone eyes, blond hair and a smattering of light freckles.'


It appears that @jonnygothispen has been contacted by the program, not to make a contribution, but to assist in the...um...collection.

#WhiteSpermMatters!

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Last edited by Cornelius Gotchberg on Mon Mar 26, 2018 1:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jonnygothispen
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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby jonnygothispen » Mon Mar 26, 2018 11:46 am

Cornelius Gotchberg wrote:@DCB & @jonnygothispen;

You's two joined under five days apart, nearly 10 years ago, and you's kinda finish each other's sentences.

Curious, that.

The Gotch


Donald Trump has small hands. Cornelius has an "S" (small) & a "C" (cock) in it. Cornelius supports Trump. Coincidence?

And Cornelius is pronounced "corn" (cob)-kneel - e (mail) - us, which obviously means you're ordering dildos & knee pads via email for you and your significant other.

Cornelius Gotchberg
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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby Cornelius Gotchberg » Mon Mar 26, 2018 12:00 pm

Cornelius Gotchberg ALSO has an "E" (enormous) "L" (large) "H" (huge) "T" (tremendous) "B" (behemoth) "U" (unparalleled)

@jonnygothispen has an "H" in it which stands for Hillarity and Huge (as in her @$$)

@jonnygothispen supports Hillarity and is fearfully intimidated by all women. Coincidence? I think not!

@jonnygothispen keeps forgetting to add an IS to the end of his commenting handle. Because he doesn't have one? I think so!

The Gotch

Roy
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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby Roy » Mon Mar 26, 2018 12:02 pm

Ok kids, time to grow up.

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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby Cornelius Gotchberg » Sun May 13, 2018 9:19 am

When This Guy Thought He Saw a Giant Beaver Stuck in a Creek, He Quickly Sprung into Action

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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby narcoleptish » Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:12 am

Am I the only one who finds madison.com's preoccupation with closed businesses a bit odd?

https://host.madison.com/wsj/entertainm ... 6d7.html#7

This is part 5 of Restaurants You Will Never Eat At Again!

snoqueen
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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby snoqueen » Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:58 am

I think it's a way to fill space without actually going out and reporting on anything.

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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby gargantua » Fri Jun 15, 2018 9:25 am

snoqueen wrote:I think it's a way to fill space without actually going out and reporting on anything.

Like annual features on the stinky corpse flower. That stopped being news years ago. They might as well reprint/rebroadcast the same story every year. Hell, maybe they do.

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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby Cornelius Gotchberg » Mon Jun 25, 2018 1:41 pm

Penis Pictures for Proof or Schvantz Snapshots for Science!

Professor asks men to send her pictures of their penises to help measure self esteem

https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/46164/

The Gotch

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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby Cornelius Gotchberg » Mon Jul 30, 2018 11:02 am

NJ Man Beats Off Hungry Bear After Attack In Rural Town

https://offbeat.topix.net/slideshow/19927/slide15

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Henry Vilas
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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby Henry Vilas » Fri Aug 17, 2018 5:12 pm

Car of 17-year-old reported missing without medications spotted in Wilson Friday

My car doesn't need medication, just gas and a periodic oil change.

Maybe it was a Tesla.

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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby Henry Vilas » Mon Oct 01, 2018 12:20 pm

Armed man fired shots in his own bathroom at apartment, police say

I doubt if an unarmed man could have fired those shots.

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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby Bwis53 » Mon Oct 01, 2018 1:45 pm

Henry Vilas wrote:Armed man fired shots in his own bathroom at apartment, police say

I doubt if an unarmed man could have fired those shots.

Well, he was in the bathroom...
My pop could have fired those shots...

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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby bdog » Mon Oct 08, 2018 4:18 pm


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Re: Headlines that need some help

Postby gozer » Mon Oct 08, 2018 10:32 pm



now, of course, the "man bites dog" equivalent is "pacifist points a r -15 at woman's head" and so on . . .


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