Jokes

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Beaver
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Jokes

Postby Beaver » Sat Feb 22, 2014 10:19 pm

Got any good jokes? Here is one:

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I earn the money in this family, so let's call me the capitalist. Your mom says what we spend the money on, we'll call her the government. Both of us are here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. Our nanny is representative of the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep and his father missing. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room, but there he sees the father in bed with the nanny and he can't get their attention. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, then tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, capitalists are screwing the working class while the government is sound asleep. Meanwhile the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."

Ninja
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ninja » Sun Feb 23, 2014 3:14 pm

Heh...I guess.

Do people even tell jokes anymore? Like actually literally speak them to other people? Jokes that are just purely a setup and punchline for a shared laugh, with no underlying political or personal or racist or whatever agenda? I literally can't remember the last time somebody pulled me aside and asked me to listen to them tell me a joke in real life. I'm sure it was disappointing, whenever it was, and I wouldn't be suprised if it was disappointing because it was actually an attempt to make a deeper statement using humor, rather than just a bad joke.

We need to bring back knock-knock jokes. Just jokes for the sake of joking, with no underlying message. Orange you glad I didn't say bannana? Come on, that's gold.

Ninja
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ninja » Sun Feb 23, 2014 3:19 pm

And it just occurred to me that I do know a guy in the world who does still just tell a joke just to tell a joke, and there are people here who probably know him because he's in bands and shit. He's a good dude, and I laugh every single time.

Stebben84
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Re: Jokes

Postby Stebben84 » Sun Feb 23, 2014 3:28 pm

Knock...knock
Who's there.
9/11.
9/11 who.
YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER FORGET.

Ninja
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ninja » Sun Feb 23, 2014 3:58 pm

Stebben84 wrote:Knock...knock
Who's there.
9/11.
9/11 who.
YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER FORGET.


I wish you had said banana.

kurt_w
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Re: Jokes

Postby kurt_w » Mon Feb 24, 2014 8:55 am

Ninja wrote:Heh...I guess.

Do people even tell jokes anymore? Like actually literally speak them to other people?

You don't hang out around kids much, eh? Believe me, I'd be perfectly OK with hearing no more jokes for the rest of 2014.

We had a thread about jokes not long ago, over here.

kurt_w
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Re: Jokes

Postby kurt_w » Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:12 am

In fact, Stebben84 posted the same 9/11 joke over in that thread...

fennel
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Re: Jokes

Postby fennel » Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:25 am

kurt_w wrote:In fact, Stebben84 posted the same 9/11 joke over in that thread...
Such is the nature of memory.

Stebben84
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Re: Jokes

Postby Stebben84 » Mon Feb 24, 2014 10:05 am

fennel wrote:
kurt_w wrote:In fact, Stebben84 posted the same 9/11 joke over in that thread...
Such is the nature of memory.


Damn. I wondered if I had already posted that. I guess I'm a one trick pony.

kurt_w
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Re: Jokes

Postby kurt_w » Mon Feb 24, 2014 10:13 am

Hey, don't feel bad -- the DPF's own search engine also doesn't remember that you posted it before.

Madsci
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Re: Jokes

Postby Madsci » Mon Feb 24, 2014 5:25 pm

At least my brother hasn't posted the same joke again (yet).

Ninja
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ninja » Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:16 pm

kurt_w wrote:
Ninja wrote:Heh...I guess.

Do people even tell jokes anymore? Like actually literally speak them to other people?

You don't hang out around kids much, eh? Believe me, I'd be perfectly OK with hearing no more jokes for the rest of 2014.

We had a thread about jokes not long ago, over here.


Oh I love joking with kids. That's one of the reasons kids are so awesome, they have no hidden agenda. I'll sit around telling knock-knock jokes with a 10 year old all day. But then I get to go home to my child-free house, so I understand how that scenario would become more taxing when you're not able to retreat to a quiet place.

Stebben84
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Re: Jokes

Postby Stebben84 » Tue Mar 04, 2014 2:08 pm

The Science Behind Why We Laugh, And The Funniest Joke In The World

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. "My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he's dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"


Meh. The opening joke in the article was funnier.

Henry Vilas
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Re: Jokes

Postby Henry Vilas » Tue Mar 04, 2014 2:10 pm

Beav, I've got a knock knock joke. You start.

rabble
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Re: Jokes

Postby rabble » Tue Mar 04, 2014 2:21 pm

Henry Vilas wrote:Beav, I've got a knock knock joke. You start.

Orange.


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