Got a bad joke?

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here
Henry Vilas
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Got a bad joke?

Postby Henry Vilas » Sat Dec 28, 2013 1:41 pm

Post your groaners here.

I'll start.

I heard the Stoughton City Council turned down a Taco Bell, saying they already had enough phone companies.

Kenneth Burns
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby Kenneth Burns » Sat Dec 28, 2013 5:46 pm

What did the grape say? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Shorty
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby Shorty » Sat Dec 28, 2013 9:02 pm

Did you know some insects can go without eating for 300 days? That's 4 days longer than the Olson twins can.

Here are WI jokes:
http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjo ... jokes.html

Beaver
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby Beaver » Mon Dec 30, 2013 6:53 pm

Bad jokes? Act 10. Walker as governor. The tea party. Soglin running again.

penquin
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby penquin » Mon Dec 30, 2013 7:00 pm

Why are there no knock-knock jokes about freedom?



Because freedom RINGS!!

narcoleptish
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby narcoleptish » Mon Dec 30, 2013 10:16 pm

A clown and a little kid are walking deep into the woods at dusk. As it gets darker the kid starts to cry. The clown looks down at him and says, "You think you're scared? I'm the one that has to walk outta here alone."

You said bad.

gozer
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby gozer » Tue Dec 31, 2013 4:24 am

the other day down in stoughton, the fellow in front of my in the queue was having this discussion with the counter person:

do u carry lutefisk?
--u must be norwegian
well, why do u assume that? if i asked for lasagne would u assume i was italian?
--no, probably not
and if i asked for a bottle of šljivovica would u assume i was a croat?
--not necessarily
so then why do u assume i'm norwegian?
--coz this is a hardware store, sir

gozer
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby gozer » Tue Dec 31, 2013 4:30 am

Beaver wrote:Bad jokes? Act 10. Walker as governor. The tea party. Soglin running again.



soglin is god!

acereraser
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby acereraser » Wed Jan 01, 2014 11:34 pm

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Violet_Skye
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby Violet_Skye » Thu Jan 02, 2014 1:59 am

Acereracer wins the internets.

Kenneth Burns
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby Kenneth Burns » Thu Jan 02, 2014 7:54 am

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the ... oh.

Henry Vilas
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby Henry Vilas » Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:54 am

Why did the pervert cross the street?

Because he was stuck to the chicken.

Stebben84
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby Stebben84 » Thu Jan 02, 2014 10:00 am

Knock knock

Who's there

9/11

9/11 who

You said you'd never forget!

kurt_w
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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby kurt_w » Thu Jan 02, 2014 10:11 am

A grasshopper walks into a bar. So the bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!" And the grasshopper looks confused and says "Why would anyone name a drink 'Bob'?"

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Re: Got a bad joke?

Postby kurt_w » Thu Jan 02, 2014 10:30 am

Ten years ago a group called LaughLab did a research study to determine what kinds of jokes people find funny. They got people from all over the world to provide a couple million ratings of 40,000 jokes.

Along the way, they determined that this is the funniest joke in the world:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”


Wait, that's the funniest joke in the world?

It's kind of interesting to compare what people from different places think is funny. Here's the joke that Belgians thought was funniest:

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.


And here's the top-rated joke in the USA:

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”


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