pjbogart wrote:I got all excited about a sore on the side of my tongue thinking that I was finally going to check out and my dentist tells me that I've just been biting my tongue in my sleep.
Dentist shmentist...... what I wanna know is, what the fuck was up with my hygienist? I've had the same lady for 4 years but she moved to Colorado recently. So I get a new one last week and she tells me that, in the immortal words of Alice Cooper, "me teeth are OK but the gums have got to go." The thing is, I know how bad breath smells when you've got shitty gums. I've smelled it. It's horrible. So if my gums are so bad (and I have no reason to believe they ain't) I don't know why my hygeniest never mentioned it (isn't that her job?) but more importabntly, why the fuck hasn't any of my friends mentioned to me that my breath smells fucking terrible!?
I mean presumably they didn't just go bad in the 6 months since my last cleaning. It must have been at least a year in the making as that's the last time the dentist actually did anything more than the cursory "hello I'm here and your teeth look fine" visit.
So for future reference........Things I want you to tell me:
There is food in your beard
Your fly is open
You have a huge hunk of snot in your nose which is plainly visible
You never actually changed into a shirt and are still wearing pajama tops (this hasn't happened since Middle School but still, it will always be on my list)
Your girlfriend is cheating on you
You did not bring me to orgasm
The new recipe you just made sucks
and of course
Your breath smells like death
So thanks friends, for not having the common decency to say, "shit dude, brush your teeth or see a doctor"