I just lied to a Jehovah's Witness

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here

Will I go to hell for this?

Yep, don't pack a sweater
Nope, it's expected to lie to them.
All you did was lie, can you imagine what Blunt woulda done?
Total votes: 30

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I just lied to a Jehovah's Witness

Postby Paco » Sat Dec 27, 2003 3:38 pm

I just get back in town, see a couple suits talking to my neighbor as I pull into my garage. I get out, grab my bag and start to walk towards my door and 1 is in my garage that quick. He wants to talk about Jeebus's family, I say I'm leaving for out of town in 2 minutes and don't have time. Man, not in my yard 2 minutes and all that good xmassy feelings are gone already, and I haven't even been to work yet!

Will I go to hell?

crêpes suzettes
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Re: I just lied to a Jehovah's Witness

Postby crêpes suzettes » Sat Dec 27, 2003 3:52 pm

Paco wrote:
Will I go to hell?

Naw, we're already living in hell. Anything after this has got to be better.

Curious if anyone's actually sat down with these people to discuss their views. I've often wanted to invite them in, sit them down, offer coffee (which they'd no doubt refuse) and engage in a serious discussion on comparative religion. If they want me to listen to them, they'll have to listen to me (and all my ruthless agnosticism).

But, I've always chickened out and lied at the last moment. ("Sorry, I'm giving my dog a hysterectomy right now, the anaesthesia's about to wear off, and she's likely to become a real bitch...")

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Postby Paco » Sat Dec 27, 2003 3:57 pm

I just happen to have a The Watchtower I pulled from my doorway, I could send it to you in lieu of the coffee chat? :mrgreen:

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Postby Bwis53 » Sat Dec 27, 2003 11:56 pm

You spent TIME talking to them? I just lie and tell them I like my church and get out of their face ASAP. Life is too short to argue with Jehovah Witnesses!

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Postby white_rabbit » Sun Dec 28, 2003 12:09 pm

It�s been a long time since someone has tried to proselytize me. <sigh>

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Postby guacamole » Sun Dec 28, 2003 3:14 pm

To recover your good holiday cheer, I offer what bills itself as the only collection of Jehovah's Witnesses humor on the 'net:


You can send that Watchtower over here, too. My friends and I will return it to you in slightly used but much more readable condition. :)

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Postby dirtybirty » Tue Dec 30, 2003 1:19 am

Last summer a handsome, well-dressed Witness and one of his spawn were making the rounds in my ex-boyfriend's neighborhood.. I was coming over for dinner, and before I got there they walked up to his door. He invited them in, saying that he was just making dinner for his boyfriend and we would love to have them join us. They left pretty quickly.

I drove up to his house about 5 minutes later not knowing the situation, but couldn't resist the temptation to whistle and wink at them as they were crossing a neighbor's lawn. They haven't been back since.

Good times...

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Postby Marge » Tue Dec 30, 2003 12:31 pm

Last time the Jehovah's Witnesses came by my house, my dog got out when I opened the door. She started running in circles and barking her head off (the dog not the missionary). They were so embarrassed that they just dropped some literature and took off.
Good dog.

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Postby yesferatu » Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:44 pm

Bah, I've found the Jehovah's witnesses and Mormons I have talked to tend to be HOT HOT HOT. Good luck thumping their bibles, but there are worse ways to spend a saturday.

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My Story

Postby Mr. G » Wed May 26, 2004 4:46 pm

I made a Hare Krishna cry once.

I was working downtown with a gentleman who has a significant disability. A Hare Krishna came over to him and gave him a book on the religion. I did not have a problem with this. It was when the HK started badgering the gentleman for $$$ when I went off. This gentleman did not have a job and was on a very limited budget. I can not exactly remember what I said, but it was very heated and I poited my finger a lot. It ended with the HK crying in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the Orpheum

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Postby Lynne » Thu May 27, 2004 9:04 am

A few years back, I had these downstairs neighbors that were with the ISO. I had just moved to Madison, and had gone to one meeting, and they would not leave me alone. One, in particular, kept asking me repeatedly when I could get together with her to discuss my "committment to the organization," despite my repeated excuses that I was far, far too busy to do anything other than study.

So one day, my doorbell rings.

It's the Jehovah's Witnesses.

I thanked them, told them I had already found Jesus, but suggested that my downstairs neighbors seemed to really be searching for guidance in life, and that they were usually home by, say, 5:00 p.m.

The Jehovah Witnesses meet the ISO... I still wonder who gave up first.

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Postby white_rabbit » Thu May 27, 2004 9:26 am

I once got invited to a three way with two Mormon Missionaries that I met in a gay bar in Escanaba, MI.

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Postby Bette » Thu May 27, 2004 9:28 am

I'm wondering what nickled&dimed would do...

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Postby skrattypants » Thu May 27, 2004 10:03 am

rabbit, isn't that a david lynch movie?

i once tried to get out of a JW visit by using asl and pretending i was deaf. just my luck that one of the suits knew sign language...

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Postby white_rabbit » Thu May 27, 2004 10:10 am

skrattypants wrote:rabbit, isn't that a david lynch movie?

It sure felt like it, but I swear it's the truth. I'm not sure which is more strange, the Mormon Missionaries part or the gay bar in Escanaba, MI part.

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