Theories of the Schmutz Groove

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here

How paranoid should I be about schmutz?

Not at all - the schmutz is benign.
Extremely paranoid - the schmutz is in league with the pods!!!
Total votes: 7

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Theories of the Schmutz Groove

Postby Marvell » Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:19 pm

Okay, you've all been there.

You're merrily cranking away at your Mac/PC/Other, and you notice your mouse is acting 'sticky' - it won't roll all the way over to the edge of the page, or hangs up so that you can't cleanly highlight a particular area of the screen. So you crack the sucker open, pop out the ball, and take a look at the little roller dealies.

Sure enough, they've got the schmutz. These are these little caterpillar-looking ridges of filth that build up on the roller dealies. And you've gotta scrape them off, or else yer just gonna have the same frustrating mouse shittiness.

I use a letter opener as my schmutz remover of choice, but local custom varies.

So - my question is:

Has anyone ever done any ergonomic/biometric analysis of the schmutz groove? Is it always the same place on everyone's mouse, or does the schmutz groove reflect the particular biometric profile of the primary mouse operator? And if the latter, could some kind of forensic analysis be done?

Has a cracker ever been busted through matching their schmutz groove?

Is it too late to get some kind of exception written into the PATRIOT Act? A la, "The First and Fifth Amendments clearly were intended to prevent instances such as use of the schmutz groove by law enforcement."

Just curious - I worry about these sorts of things.
Last edited by Marvell on Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Billy Shears » Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:27 pm

I don't remember, I switched to infrared a long time ago.

No offense meant, but I really think you should too.

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Postby mrak » Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:30 pm

Billy Shears wrote:I don't remember, I switched to infrared a long time ago.

No offense meant, but I really think you should too.

Yes, optical mice are far better. It's time, Marvell.

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Postby Bwis53 » Mon Jul 25, 2005 9:07 pm

I come from Germans, so thanks for the schmutz term. It helps to keep your pad and hands clean.... Since I raised all guys, I got to see lots of electronics. I'll bet we've got a box of mice. At least we got to deduct alot of that for business.

(Last year our younger one did a "Pepsi Syndrome" on his dad's business Sony laptop. Couldn't be cleaned up. Cost more to fix, than to buy.)

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Postby Chuck_Schick » Tue Jul 26, 2005 8:48 am

As the de facto desktop support guy in the office for the last several months, I've seen schmutz that would make your bile curdle. The cheapskates here have yet to adopt the optical mouse as standard, never mind that some people let schmutz buildup get so bad that the changeover to newer technology would triple productivity.

This is one problem I can easily diagnose, but refuse to remedy with the exception of my own little critter. If you were to do a full analysis of schmutz, I'm convinced you would find that it very closely resembles the primordial bouillabaisse from which our fishy forbears wriggled.

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Postby jjoyce » Tue Jul 26, 2005 8:56 am

Keep in mind that you can still get schmutz on optical mice, although it rarely affects performance. It builds up on the little rubber strips. Compact dust? Grease? Dead skin?" A combination?

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Postby christopher_robin » Tue Jul 26, 2005 10:35 am


Wacom tablets, yo

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