Despite the headline, they weren't actually written by high school students, and they're not all analogies. Most of them were probably intentionally composed, perhaps for the Bulwer-Lytton contest.
Nonetheless, they're funny.
Which is your favorite? It's hard to choose, but I'm partial to these:
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.