I've got Jesus' cell phone number

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here
donges
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I've got Jesus' cell phone number

Postby donges » Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:07 am

I got a text from Jesus last night! Says:
Jesus wrote:Hey Its Me JESUS..if u deny me on Earth, I will deny u n Heaven. If ur not ashamed of me snd 2 15ppl n receive the b Ravin :)

So now I don't know if this is Jesus spam or if I now can call him up rather than that old slow roundabout way of praying and such.
What I really want to know now is what is 'b Ravin' and why would I want to receive it.
I've got the number if anyone wants the direct line, too.

white_rabbit
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Re: I've got Jesus' cell phone number

Postby white_rabbit » Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:19 am

donges wrote:What I really want to know now is what is 'b Ravin' and why would I want to receive it.


Image

narcoleptish
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Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 1:35 am

Re: I've got Jesus' cell phone number

Postby narcoleptish » Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:35 am

What is ppl? People?

Does jesus want two 15 year olds?

snoqueen
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Re: I've got Jesus' cell phone number

Postby snoqueen » Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:16 pm

No, he wants 215 people (ppl), exactly 215. He just got his spacing wrong.

b is code for a special drug Jesus gives you to get you high. You will receive it once he gets his 215 ppls.

Ravin is what happens after you ingest the drug. You start b Ravin.

The smiley at the end is the really important part. it is a happy little yellow cookie straight from Jesus. If it was a frowny cookie, you'd know you were on the road to hell, but see? You aren't.

Do not ask me how I know this.

white_rabbit
Forum God/Goddess
Posts: 7487
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 11:44 pm

Re: I've got Jesus' cell phone number

Postby white_rabbit » Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:24 pm

Jesus was a righteous dude. It's sad so many of his followers are hateful dumb asses. Rave on J-man, rave on.

gk2012
Member
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Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:04 am

Re: I've got Jesus' cell phone number

Postby gk2012 » Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:06 am

Please tell Jesus to send me a message soon. :mrgreen:


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