Favorite Masturbation Phrase

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here
supaunknown
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Postby supaunknown » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:52 pm

I'll give Big Mike credit for my fav:

"I've got a hot date with Handrea."

Hank_Venison
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Postby Hank_Venison » Wed Aug 01, 2007 4:12 pm

FAVORITE MASTURBATION PHRASE?
Gee, I don't know, I don't say a whole lot when I'm masturbating, let alone an entire phrase!
It's mostly just a lot of heavy breathing & maybe some grunts & moans.

fennel
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Postby fennel » Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:49 pm

Hank_Venison wrote:FAVORITE MASTURBATION PHRASE?
Gee, I don't know, I don't say a whole lot when I'm masturbating, let alone an entire phrase!
It's mostly just a lot of heavy breathing & maybe some grunts & moans.


No? Not even "Sweet Jesus!"?
Or, "Rejoice, for she has come!"
Or, "Into my hands I commend thy spirit."
Or, "Gloria in Excelsis Day-O" (per Harry Belafonte)
Or the collective fireworks-watching "Oooooooooooo."

Maxine
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Postby Maxine » Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:44 pm

Scratching my pony.

Bwis53
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Postby Bwis53 » Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:51 pm

Maxine wrote:Scratching my pony.


Jezebel!

Maxine
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Postby Maxine » Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:39 pm

Bwis53 wrote:
Maxine wrote:Scratching my pony.


Jezebel!


Aww, geez. I don't remember posting that. I was having some bad ovary cramps Friday, so my doctor prescribed some muscle relaxants. While I was at Walgreens picking up my prescription I realized I had some subtle cold symptom so I picked up a bottle of Nyquil to down my prescription with. Next thing I know I wake up two days later in a daze with a sore box and all the crucifixes in my house are hanging upside down.

Bwis53
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Postby Bwis53 » Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:15 pm

Poor Maxine, you've slipped. Wow, talk about a religous experience! You must get back on the wagon, er pony, er well you know what I mean. You know, they say masturbation is good for cramps... That's a tried and true old wive's remedy. Even a cheap little neck massager has got to be cheaper, and more fun, than your prescription and the Nyquil together. Ofcourse I've read that could be addictive too....

You would never guess
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Postby You would never guess » Sun Aug 19, 2007 7:46 pm

Maxine wrote:I'm sure you libtards love pumping your organs like you're searching for the last drop of beer from a keg at a frat party.

I'll pray for you, but it's probably a lost cause.


Maxine is a freak! She keeps calling me a drunk, now with the latest comment, I wonder what is wrong with her. Not everyone is a drunk. Did you have a drunk, abusive dad? Or what is your deal?

Maxine
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Postby Maxine » Sun Aug 19, 2007 8:00 pm

You would never guess wrote:
Maxine is a freak!


Oh, great! I'm getting called a freak by an ADHD alcoholic who was butt raped as a child by his retarted uncle/father and was birthed as a fetal-alcohol syndrome "miracle baby" who survived the booze & dope laden pregnancy of his syphylitic uterus host only because she was forced to take penicilin to shake off a bad case of the "mega-clap".

nickled&dimed
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Postby nickled&dimed » Sun Aug 19, 2007 8:34 pm

I also thought this thread was about favorite phrase to utter during said act. I was going to offer "please, sheppy."

Dirty Dusty Rhoads
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Postby Dirty Dusty Rhoads » Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:26 pm

A couple that come to mind, so to speak:

• Tugging a batch off.
• Knuckle shuffle on the piss pump.

Maxine
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Postby Maxine » Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:43 pm

"Waxing Nostalgic"
"Voting by proxy"
"Test driving a Toyota"
"Playing bad cop with the suspect"

You would never guess
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Postby You would never guess » Tue Aug 21, 2007 12:44 am

Maxine wrote:
You would never guess wrote:
Maxine is a freak!


Oh, great! I'm getting called a freak by an ADHD alcoholic who was butt raped as a child by his retarted uncle/father and was birthed as a fetal-alcohol syndrome "miracle baby" who survived the booze & dope laden pregnancy of his syphylitic uterus host only because she was forced to take penicilin to shake off a bad case of the "mega-clap".



You are a serious freak! None of that is obviously true. It is usually the one who claims others have issues who have the biggest issues. I will not lower to your level and makes jokes about thigs you have said. If you are religious, you are a fraud!

Henry Vilas
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Postby Henry Vilas » Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:53 am

You would never guess wrote:...jokes about thigs you have said.

I put "thig jokes" into google images and I got a bunch of results. This is my favorite.

Image

Sheepy
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Postby Sheepy » Tue Aug 21, 2007 2:55 pm

"Firing off some knuckle children"

(OK, I stole this from "Family Guy")


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