Stepkids spending too much of summer with us!

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Belle
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Stepkids spending too much of summer with us!

Postby Belle » Thu Jul 12, 2007 8:55 am

I have had enuf already. I signed up for marriage with two weeks in the summer of visitation. How can I get my point across that I am furious & that his kiddy needs to go back to his mommy? Of course, I am dealing with disney dad & all his guilt ....pls help!

Stomach
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Postby Stomach » Thu Jul 12, 2007 9:02 am

Hmmm, that's a tough one but I think you just need to suck it up and deal with it. It's only two weeks (easy for me to say, huh).

medbh
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Re: Stepkids spending too much of summer with us!

Postby medbh » Thu Jul 12, 2007 11:31 am

Belle wrote:I signed up for marriage with two weeks in the summer of visitation. How can I get my point across that I am furious & that his kiddy needs to go back to his mommy? !


No, you signed up for marriage with a FATHER. If you don't like the kids, then you shouldn't have married a father.

He should be feeling guilty if he's only spending two weeks a summer with his kids. He should be seeing them everyday and be actively involved in their life.

The dad should keep the kids and show the selfish stepmom the door.

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Re: Stepkids spending too much of summer with us!

Postby beenie » Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:15 pm

medbh wrote:No, you signed up for marriage with a FATHER. If you don't like the kids, then you shouldn't have married a father.

He should be feeling guilty if he's only spending two weeks a summer with his kids. He should be seeing them everyday and be actively involved in their life.

The dad should keep the kids and show the selfish stepmom the door.


I agree. I understand that being a stepparent isn't the easiest thing in the world, but you're the one who married a guy with a kid. Package deal, not pick-and-choose.

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Re: Stepkids spending too much of summer with us!

Postby TheBookPolice » Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:32 pm

Belle wrote:his kiddy needs to go back to his mommy


Hope you didn't expect a lot of sympathy here, with a heartless, bitchy attitude like that. Do your husband a favor and leave him.

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Postby mcs_madison » Thu Jul 12, 2007 3:14 pm

I just has a flashback of my stepmonster...Acck!!

That's how it works sweetheart...He's a FATHER! They'll be part of his life for a loooong time...40-50 years, at least. Longer than you will be, I'm thinking with that attitude.

Don't make him choose or you'll loose.

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Postby auntgoodness » Thu Jul 12, 2007 3:28 pm

mcs_madison wrote:I just has a flashback of my stepmonster...Acck!!


Me too! Acck!!

Grow up, Belle. You have choices. The kid didn't sign up for anything.

Belle
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Postby Belle » Thu Jul 12, 2007 4:04 pm

Wow, stepmonster was the one who watched the lil guy for the first two weeks of this vacation with no notice at all he was coming. May I add we are on the second two week vacation now. This is good to hear the honesty from you all. To thine ownself be true!

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Re: Stepkids spending too much of summer with us!

Postby Oprah » Thu Jul 12, 2007 7:28 pm

Belle wrote:How can I get my point across that I am furious & that his kiddy needs to go back to his mommy? Of course, I am dealing with disney dad & all his guilt ....pls help!

Why not complain to him rather than doing it here, and while you're whining your little heart out to your hubby you should refer to his child as kiddy and to him as Disney Dad. That'll fix things. Fix things, real good.

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Postby snoqueen » Thu Jul 12, 2007 9:38 pm

Belle wrote:Wow, stepmonster was the one who watched the lil guy for the first two weeks of this vacation with no notice at all he was coming. May I add we are on the second two week vacation now...


This is a "lil guy" not a big teenager, right? And you are an adult? I feel bad for this poor little kid, away from his regular support system and stuck with a crabby strange woman (you) all day. And I even feel bad for your husband, who thought he married an adult who would be a helpmeet not another child.

If you decide to be an adult about this, try some activities with this lil guy. Try your library -- the Madison libraries all have great summer activities for kids. Try taking him to a free evening of watching league softball at a neighborhood park. Take him to a Mallards game. To the beach. To the zoo. Find Madison School-Community Recreation's web page and see what activities they offer next week, like art or sports. Take him to the arboretum for a kids' activity. Find out what parks or locations in your neighborhood other moms with kids use for play groups and show up with him. Read this week's Isthmus section that lists family activities and pick one. Get out a digital camera and spend an afternoon taking pictures together. Geez.

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Re: Stepkids spending too much of summer with us!

Postby cxl01 » Thu Jul 12, 2007 10:20 pm

Belle wrote: I signed up for marriage with two weeks in the summer of visitation. How can I get my point across that I am furious & that his kiddy needs to go back to his mommy?


Wow, did Central Casting find you in the Rolodex under "Stepmom"?

Do you also have a strained relationship with Biological mom? I sense some tension over the child visiting longer than you had planned.

One strategy would be to befriend the kid, becoming the Ãœber Mom, no biological parent could ever be. That would fix Biological Mom's wagon. To compete with you, she would have to spend more time with the kid (relieving you of the "burden").

Another common strategy would be to have a child of your own with Biological Dad, in some lame attempt to mark your own family territory (great for fiction, but don't YOU even think about it).

Or you could just end the marriage with Biological Dad now before resentment turns to anger and your saga turns into a bad Lifetime Television movie.

Paging Dr Phil...

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Re: Stepkids spending too much of summer with us!

Postby juanton » Fri Jul 13, 2007 8:50 am

TheBookPolice wrote:
Belle wrote:his kiddy needs to go back to his mommy


Hope you didn't expect a lot of sympathy here, with a heartless, bitchy attitude like that. Do your husband a favor and leave him.


Yep, leave the husband. You're obviously being selfish after the fact. You know, after the fact where you agreed to marry a guy with a kid.

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Postby Paco » Fri Jul 13, 2007 9:06 am

Good thing you're not a guy going out with a woman who has them 48 weeks of the year. 4 weeks is doable. Think the kid is liking it any better? He didn't ask to be put in that position.

medbh
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Postby medbh » Fri Jul 13, 2007 9:41 am

The dad should be getting some grief here too. The point of visiting is to be with the dad, not a stepmom. The dad's an ass if he's just passing off childcare responsibilities.

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Postby Bwis53 » Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:31 am

I think there's much more to this story than's been said. Getting Dad into the act is important. My sister-in-law married a guy with five kids, whose wife had full custody. One-by-one, my sis ended up raising them all. If the child has behavioral issues, that needs to be addressed also. Raising kids is hard work and not for the faint of heart. Also, step-mom, do seek help, just to help yourself stay centered.


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