Why Aren't We Talking About Shark Attacks?

If it's news, but not politics, then it goes here.

I Think Shark Attacks Are More Important To America Than...

Missing white women
4
14%
Tom Cruise's views on the history of psychiatry
6
21%
Freedom
6
21%
God... and The Bible... and stuff...
5
17%
Gay Marriage and Flag Burning Amendments COMBINED!
8
28%
 
Total votes: 29

porkchopbob
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Postby porkchopbob » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:14 pm

What I want to know is where are our precious "allies", The Dolphins, during all of this?! They have all but abandoned us. For this outrage I'm going to start buying more tuna.

Dulouz
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Postby Dulouz » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:16 pm

porkchopbob wrote:What I want to know is where are our precious "allies", The Dolphins, during all of this?! They have all but abandoned us. For this outrage I'm going to start buying more tuna.


Tuna should now be called "liberty fish".

porkchopbob
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Postby porkchopbob » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:20 pm

All this anti-shark rhetoric is fine, but I'm afraid it's just going to open the door to this administration's age-old desire to go after white whales.

AmyW
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Postby AmyW » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:33 pm

If the liberal environmentalists would stop oppressing the administration's silent majority, you would see what we really need are National Prayer Days to deliver us from the sinister plot of all sea creatures to force Americans to lose their moral compasses and cling to the lifeboat of sea religion.

Prof. Wagstaff
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Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:36 pm

BTW -
I just wanted to say that the reason nobody is voting for the Tom Cruise option is that he knows the history of psychiatry and you don't.

This isn't all just about sharks, y'know.

Beer Moon
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Postby Beer Moon » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:57 pm

I was at the laundromat with my kids last week and this guy brought his pet shark in there. He was on a leash, but still. He started lunging toward my child and I had to pick him up.

The shark's owner said "Down boy, Down!"
Then he turned to me and said "Sorry, my shark thinks your kid is a piece of meat."

Kyle Motor
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Postby Kyle Motor » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:58 pm

Old Kentucky Shark sez:

A shark on whiskey is mighty risky,
A shark on beer is a beer engineer.

snoqueen
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Postby snoqueen » Wed Jun 29, 2005 4:09 pm

Those sharks are really Zoo Liberation Front guerilla warriors.

saltman
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Postby saltman » Wed Jun 29, 2005 5:14 pm

The sharks heard about the SHOCK & AWE campaign and this is their payback. Insurgent sharks from enemy waters I tell you....

supaunknown
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Postby supaunknown » Wed Jun 29, 2005 5:27 pm

Fuck the Sharks!
-Jets

white_rabbit
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Postby white_rabbit » Wed Jun 29, 2005 7:21 pm

There are sharks in Lake Monona?

AmyW
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Postby AmyW » Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:36 pm

white_rabbit wrote:There are sharks in Lake Monona?


I thought it was Mendota. Near the Governor's Mansion. I've seen them swirling in the water. They think that they'll be able to take over our government.

Chuck_Schick
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Postby Chuck_Schick » Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:26 am

Shark and Awe? Fuck it all and pass the liberty fish. Fact is, I know the history of marine biology and you don't. Scientology is for 'tards. Don't stay out of the water. That's just what they'll be expecting us to do.

Just when you thought it was safe to surf the nightly news ...

auntgoodness
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Postby auntgoodness » Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:34 am

white_rabbit wrote:There are sharks in Lake Monona?


Yep. Lake sharks.

Toonces
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Postby Toonces » Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:09 am

Yep. Lake sharks.


with frickin' lazer beams on their heads...


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