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What are the things that puzzle, enrage, delight and tickle you as you go about your life in Madison?
Mean Scenester
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Mean Scenester » Thu May 16, 2013 3:42 pm

Okay, Ninja (a "grown up" handle if ever I saw one). I feel it's only fair to let you know I'm just responding at this point because I find you absurdly comical. I hope to god you're for real.

Ninja wrote:It seems to stem mostly from the insecure teenagers who want to buck the status quo and talk shit about the normals but still be invited to the block party.

Okay ... so we've got the insecure teenagers on one side and the normals on the other. Wait a minute ... is this John Hughes?!

Show me a teenager who actually wants anything to do with a block party and I'll show you the product of an incestuous relationship.

You want to be the weirdo with the weird lawn?

Actually, I just want to be a dude who has a place to go home to at the end of the work day. If I wanted the weird lawn, I'd totally get its nose pierced and mow it every other day except for a strip down the middle so it could totally rock the lawnhawk, bro.

Awesome. Do your thing.

Something tells me you don't really mean that. But in the spirit of things: Awesome! You too, man!

But don't then whine when you get treated like the weirdo with the weird lawn by your neighbors.

Let's review again how this conversation went, shall we?

OP: Do you care about your lawn?
Me: Not so much.
OP (and like-minded peanut gallery occupants): Weirdo!

You're right. I really waked into that one.

You're not required to go with the flow, but no one else is required to respect your decision to do otherwise and give you high fives for it either.

Tell me, does going with the flow also involve mowing at an angle both ways so you get the whole outfield vibe going on? 'Cause that whole scene really messes with my outdoor Chi, you dig, Daddy-o?

And it doesn't even sound to me like you've got an exceptionally weird lawn.

You just wait, Captain Flowbee. I'm totally gonna trick that fucker out as soon as my old man makes with the allowance back pay he owes me.

Tell your neighbor to fuck off and mind his own business if his looks bother you so much. Or conform.

Man, you're like, totally conflicted and coiled like a spring inside, see? There's totally a middle ground to mine here, man. I can laugh it off and refrain from spraying pollutants all to hell and back dig, Gramps? At the end of the day, it's all One Love. Can't you see that, my brother?

But don't just sit there and make snotty generalizations ...

(Says Gramps as he characterizes everyone who doesn't obsess over his lawn as a sullen teen.)

Your conflict is with your neighbor. Save your insults and condescension for him, because you sound silly and childish lashing out at the world.

Let me get hip to this. Doing the environment a favor by eschewing pesticides and fertilizer = lashing out at the world.

You're a trip, Chip! See ya at the block party!





NOT!

nutria
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby nutria » Thu May 16, 2013 4:01 pm

Ninja wrote:We're all free to do whatever we want with our lawns as long as we comply with the ordinances. But that doesn't mean that there won't be social consequences to our decisions. Adults accept that. Teenagers try to have it both ways so they bitch about the reactions that their deliberate actions evoke.


...and always usin' my god-dang telephone, and always in the god-dern bathroom...

OK, free tip: You could have saved a lot of typing here by simply waving your fist, and shouting "GET OFF MY LAWN!!"

Oh, and this:

Mean Scenester wrote:Okay, Ninja (a "grown up" handle if ever I saw one).
...
Show me a teenager who actually wants anything to do with a block party and I'll show you the product of an incestuous relationship.


<slow clap>

Ninja
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Ninja » Thu May 16, 2013 9:10 pm

I'm absolutely stunned that I have to explain that the teenager thing is an analogy. I don't literally think that you folks are between the ages of 13 and 19. I don't literally think that people in that age group are clamoring to attend block parties. I really don't understand why I would have to explain this.

I'm not accustomed to trying to communicate with people who are only capable of literal reading so I don't think this is going to be a productive conversation. Do whatever you want with your lawn. Just don't say you weren't warned that it might cause a reaction.

DCB
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby DCB » Fri May 17, 2013 9:03 am

Ninja wrote:I'm absolutely stunned that I have to explain that the teenager thing is an analogy. I don't literally think that you folks are between the ages of 13 and 19.

No, reallym we do get it. Its funny that you think your analogy has any relationship to Madsion in the 21st Century. Keep up your "straight man" schtick, Mr. Cleaver!

Radical Cheerleader
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Radical Cheerleader » Mon May 20, 2013 1:38 am

I'm with Ninja on this one, and I think the response he evoked is proof that he hit a nerve -- meaning there's a truth to his statements that people don't want to acknowledge.

I'm an avid gardener, myself, and, in my opinion, nothing sets off a garden like a nice lawn or walkway. Olbrich Gardens is proof of that. A lawn by itself, though, is just boring no matter how nice it is. I don't use chemicals or any services. I don't water or aerate my lawn. I don't mind a few things other than grass in my lawn, as long as they're not dandelions, which I consider an insidious weed. I simply throw some Farm & Fleet seed down in areas that look sparse. I try not to mow too often, as I think it's hard on the grass not to let it grow a little bit. I don't bag the clippings, which I think is silly, as I think the clipping are good for the lawn. I also bust out the weed wacker once in awhile for the tricky to reach spots around the border. I don't like suburbanite lawn nuts, but I don't like an out of control lawns packed full of dandelions, either.

Mad Howler
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Mad Howler » Mon May 20, 2013 1:53 am

RC-
I'm with you, mostly.
Please bag when those dandelions are in bloom.
Once cut, they still go to seed as they lay.
I wish I would say this to my neighbor.
This internet is an odd place.
MH

Prof. Wagstaff
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Mon May 20, 2013 8:56 am

"Hit a nerve"?
Yes, I think those of us who don't think dandelions are "insidious" surely have.

Image

How could anyone stand to look at such hideousness?!

Radical Cheerleader
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Radical Cheerleader » Mon May 20, 2013 9:21 am

Prof. Wagstaff wrote:"Hit a nerve"?
Yes, I think those of us who don't think dandelions are "insidious" surely have.

Image

How could anyone stand to look at such hideousness?!

I'm sure that a field full of invasive white garlic mustard blooms can look beautiful as well, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't create problems choking out native species of plants. Something being pretty and being a "weed" are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

Prof. Wagstaff
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Mon May 20, 2013 9:25 am

The grass in your yard is not a native species.
Dandelions, on the other hand, most definitely are.

And "weed" is a completely subjective term. It has no scientific meaning, only an aesthetic one.

Care to try a different goofy argument?
Last edited by Prof. Wagstaff on Mon May 20, 2013 9:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Meade
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Meade » Mon May 20, 2013 9:26 am

Rad is right. For visual "beauty", check out poison ivy in October. Stunningly beautiful fall color.

Dandelions are native. Native to Eurasia.

Prof. Wagstaff wrote:The grass in your yard is not a native species.

How do you know Radical Cheerleader doesn't have a Buffalograss lawn?

Radical Cheerleader
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Radical Cheerleader » Mon May 20, 2013 9:42 am

Prof. Wagstaff wrote:The grass in your yard is not a native species.
Dandelions, on the other hand, most definitely are.

Care to try a different goofy argument?

Non-native may have a negative connotation, but a plant being being non-native does not always denote invasiveness. There are native plants that are invasive weeds just as there are non-native plants. My garden is full of non-native plants that don't create any problems. The grass in my yard won't spread into the yards of everyone living around me and even into areas many miles away. Dandelions will. Grass is nowhere near as invasive as dandelions.
Prof. Wagstaff wrote:And "weed" is a completely subjective term. It has no scientific meaning, only an aesthetic one.

Hence my use of quotation marks.
Last edited by Radical Cheerleader on Mon May 20, 2013 9:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

Meade
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Meade » Mon May 20, 2013 9:45 am

Radical Cheerleader wrote:Grass is nowhere near as invasive as dandelions.
Nimblewill comes pretty close.

rabble
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby rabble » Mon May 20, 2013 9:58 am

I guess it's time to bring out my ol' buddy, Grampa's Weeder.
Image
My dad had one when I was a kid. I don't know what ever happened to it but I'm sure one of us managed to destroy it somehow. I found one at Ace on Willy a few years back and bought it on impulse. Two or three times a year I spend an hour or so wandering around the lawn popping out dandelions. First year I filled the little yard cart to overflowing, this year they're a lot scarcer. It gets the whole taproot about 80 percent of the time. I can pull pencil thick saplings or even bigger if I'm careful. The cast iron can break if you really reef on it.

No chemicals, no bending over, no digging except for the ones who manage to take root between stepping stones. The dog and sometimes the cat walk with me, very puzzled about what I'm doing but ever hopeful I might drop something edible. Nice way to kill time on a nice day.

Radical Cheerleader
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Radical Cheerleader » Mon May 20, 2013 10:38 am

Meade wrote:
Radical Cheerleader wrote:Grass is nowhere near as invasive as dandelions.
Nimblewill comes pretty close.

I don't think Nimblewill is nearly as invasive as dandelions, which flower much quicker and go from flower to seed much sooner (sometimes in the same day!). Also, if you happen to mow over Nimblewill that has gone to seed, the seeds won't spread for miles like with dandelions. The problem with Nimblewill is that it can spread through shoots near the surface of the ground even when mowed before going to seed, so it's just a different beast.

It appears to be a variety of grass native to North America, though, which further shows that a plant being native or non-native doesn't designate whether it's an aggressive/invasive "weed" or not.

Prof. Wagstaff
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Mon May 20, 2013 10:56 am

Seems to me that anyone who enjoys spending time weeding their yard ought to be thanking me and my dandelions for giving them something to do.

Seriously though, thanks for clarifying your position, Rad.
I hereby rescind my accusation of goofiness.
The fact that (standard lawn) grass won't spread is why I think it's such a silly thing to want/have growing in your yard. It requires a level of human intervention that I have no desire to spend time or money on. And for the record, there are weeds I do remove. Thistles, for example, gotta go.


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