Free lawn advice from your Forum friends

What are the things that puzzle, enrage, delight and tickle you as you go about your life in Madison?
jjoyce
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby jjoyce » Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:45 pm

Mean Scenester wrote:I can put a heroic amount of time into trying to nurse it back to health or ... you know ... I could spend that time being a proper father to my kids.


You're really gonna go dad card on this one?

My dad mowed our lawn until I was old enough (10) to push the Craftsman around our half-acre. That job taught several lessons: take pride in your work, play mind games with yourself to fight the boredom of a tedious task, keeping up your yard can contribute to the overall good of the community (a neighborhood's only as nice as its trashiest yard). I never got paid cash for that job because it was always made clear that pitching in around the house benefited us all and since my parents picked up the tab on a lot of my activities, I could help out by mowing and doing other tasks. Plus, our yard was often the site of various neighborhood games, so it was probably more my yard than anyone else in the house.

I admit that I still really enjoy sitting down with a cold one and surveying a freshly cut lawn and nothing is more inviting than a lush carpet of green in midsummer. I don't pay for a service, but I do fertilize a little and last year I mixed the three-prong foot aerator into my arsenal. Our backyard was one of the biggest reasons we bought our house, so I like to keep it looking nice. I don't like spending as much time there if it looks cruddy.

The dumbest thing I do is walk around with the dandelion digger, but that's mostly because it leads to neighborly chats.

Meade
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Meade » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:05 pm

Thanks for the heads up, Prof. But yours wasn't a typo and neither was mine.

Yours was obviously Freudian. In other words - sexual frustration has caused you to subconsciously and homophobicly worry and fantasize that pubic hair is growing out of your nose like weeds, creating (taboo) sexual arousal when you think of your neighbor penetrating your hirsute nasal cavities with his gas-powered 2-cycle weedeater.

Mine was simply a picto.

Prof. Wagstaff
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:07 pm

jjoyce wrote:a neighborhood's only as nice as its trashiest yard


I call shennanigans.
Last I checked, neighborhoods were comprised of people, not lawns.

If your happiness is reliant on the appearance of other people's property (or how you think they perceive your property, for that matter), I'd say that's pretty sad.
Last edited by Prof. Wagstaff on Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

snoqueen
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby snoqueen » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:09 pm

...a neighborhood's only as nice as its trashiest yard...


Not at all! The trashy yard makes all the other yards look better. I want the trashiest one to be right next to mine.

psst, Wags. Ms Spellcheck says it's shenanigans.

Prof. Wagstaff
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:13 pm

snoqueen wrote:psst, Wags. Ms Spellcheck says it's shenanigans.
Fuck.
I already edited that post once and I ain't a-gonna do it agin!

I'm sure our ever-off-topic thread destroyer will be here soon enough to explain how that extra "n" makes me worse than Hitler.

massimo
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby massimo » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:20 pm

Drnik!

I, like joyce, enjoy spending time in my yard and keeping things relatively tidy back there. But I refuse to apply chemicals or fertilizer-- I don't really care what mix of species ends up winning the battle for supremacy on my quarter acre, as long as it's greenish and doesn't mind being mowed.

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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Remember_Me » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:33 pm

jjoyce wrote:I admit that I still really enjoy sitting down with a cold one and surveying a freshly cut lawn and nothing is more inviting than a lush carpet of green in midsummer.


This.

And that smell.

I have an old pair of New Balances that I only wear to mow. I couldn't tell you what color they used to be.

And since I don't wear socks with them, the weird ankle tan lines I get helps the gf spot which line I'm in at the grocery store.

jjoyce
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby jjoyce » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:34 pm

Prof. Wagstaff wrote:If your happiness is reliant on the appearance of other people's property (or how you think they perceive your property, for that matter), I'd say that's pretty sad.


Sad? It's science! I wouldn't say reliant, but I would say influenced, and possibly strongly. Are you telling me that strolling through Olbrich Gardens doesn't make people happy? Or that driving past a shabby dump with a car on blocks in the overgrown front yard doesn't make people depressed? Or that seeing orderliness and tidiness doesn't release some kind of chemical in the brain?

I got two words for that: Feng effin' shui.

I find your "neighborhoods are people" to be some Free 2 Be U & Me level sappiness. Architecture, vegetation, street conditions, sidewalks, etc. all influence the atmosphere of a neighborhood at least as much, if not more than, the people living there.

snoqueen
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby snoqueen » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:39 pm

I want a neighborhood with people who are so nice we exchange house keys and take care of things when somebody's sick or out of town. That's the bottom line. I don't give a rip about their lawn hygiene.

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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby fisticuffs » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:44 pm

snoqueen wrote:I want a neighborhood with people who are so nice we exchange house keys and take care of things when somebody's sick or out of town. That's the bottom line. I don't give a rip about their lawn hygiene.


Me too. our neighborhood in downtown Mt. Horeb is full of old house. Some big some small, some nice some more run down. Yards are the same. Some big well maintained, some out of control. But I have in a 2 block radius 12 human beings who I am infinitely glad I met and live near. 2 of them have keys. 1 of them let our puppy out at lunch for the first 5 months, and then let our second puppy out for 5 months almost immediately after that. One of them helped me drywall a new bathroom. One of them invited us (6 people on our block) to their kids wedding at Lambeau last year. As well as we've gotten to know these people I couldn't begin to tell you which one has the best yard.

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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:45 pm

massimo wrote:I, like joyce, enjoy spending time in my yard and keeping things relatively tidy back there.


Let me be clear: I have NO problem with people who enjoy working in their yards or gardens. I have enough goofy hobbies that I cast no stones in that regard. I totally understand how others could find puttering around in their yard relaxing and rewarding, and can get satisfaction from the work as well as the aesthetic of the finished product.
But the neighbors I have an issue with are insane (and I should have been clear that I was referring to only specific neighbors, not all of them.) They've already mowed this year THREE times, including once when there was still snow on the ground (near as I can tell, no one else on my block has mowed once yet.)

My problem with my neighbors is two-fold: 1) Their obvious judgement of me based only the fact that my yard is not up to their standards (I have seriously seen the dude staring at my lawn with alternating looks of anger and disgust), and 2) their wasteful and destructive practices maintaining that yard to some ridiculous measure of perfection. I've previously posted about this guy using his leaf blower to clear water off his driveway after using the sprinkler. This guy is just plain nuts. Wasting water and gas, poisoning the environment with chemicals, and endless unnecessary noise pollution are all far more egregious offences than "I don't like the way your lawn looks" in my book. YMMV, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the bad neighbor here.

Jason, I find it impossible to respond seriously to anyone who equates Feng Shui with science. I like orderliness as much as the next guy. I also like fractals. My overgrown evergreen bushes look better to me than the ones my neighbor meticulously trims almost daily.

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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Henry Vilas » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:51 pm

I try to keep my yard neat, but I have absolutely no grass. Instead, plants, shrubs and trees. Some native, some not. Mainly perennials. Some edible by humans, some edible by creatures. Some that nothing will touch.

Stebben84
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Stebben84 » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:54 pm

Prof. Wagstaff wrote:ason, I find it impossible to respond seriously to anyone who equates Feng Shui with science.


To be fair, it was " Feng effin' shui."

I think that's the methed up version of Feng Shui.

Meade
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Meade » Fri Apr 26, 2013 3:06 pm

Prof. Wagstaff wrote:I have seriously seen the dude staring at my lawn with alternating looks of anger and disgust[...]My overgrown evergreen bushes look better to me than the ones my neighbor meticulously trims almost daily.

I'm afraid our hour is nearly up. I do think we're making progress, don't you? Continue keeping your dream journal and try to pay attention to specific events or people who trigger your emotions of anger and arousal. Until next week, let me suggest you try to ignore the neighbor and his "bushes". Oh, and don't forget to work on your personal grooming, okay? Using the tips I gave you last week?

Michael Patrick
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Re: Do you really give a shit about your lawn?

Postby Michael Patrick » Fri Apr 26, 2013 3:11 pm

I mow whatever species decides to make its home in the green spaces around my house. Other than that, I spend a whole lot more time tending to the plants that provide food.


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