Huckleby wrote:I think for a single person, Madison is a sucky town for finding a mate.
Ahhh the annual 'Madison Sucks', 'Singles Scene' subcategory discussion.
Funny how after over a decade of viewing and/or contributing to TDPF, no matter how much things change, some things never change. Can a city really
change? I'd like to believe so. Moreover, can Madison
change? If judging by the criticisms of the disgruntled over the years, it would seem not, sadly enough.
I don't even complain about it anymore. I've accepted it. I've waived the white flag. It is what it is. Now that doesn't mean my eyes suddenly don't work, it just means I've come not to expect the unexpected.
Huckleby wrote:I had one friend who has lived a lot of places, and says the near east side is a bit insular & self-satisfied.
I'd say that's incredibly apt. I've always felt that, but never quite had the right words. I think your friend hit the nail on the head on the overall 'vibe' of the near east-side.
Kyle Motor wrote:I agree that Milwaukee seems much more happenin' for the single scene. I get over there semi-regularly to visit friends; a night out there is different from here, and it's not because it's a bigger city. I think they've got more singles per capita, and they're out doing things instead of sitting around alone or in little cliques.
To quote a 30-something Milwaukee Facebook friend of mine (who I believe has spent his entire childhood and adulthood in and around Milw.) from just a week or so ago, who was complaining about being lonely; "Milwaukee is CRAP for dating."
It can't be any worse than Madison though, that's for sure.
Of course, it's hardly ever fair to compare Madison to larger cities in this regard, as it's almost a given that the larger city will have more opportunities for singles simply based on numbers alone.
msnflyer wrote:Good thing I'm comfortable with being the lone wolf...
It's unfortunate that it comes down to "being comfortable being the lone wolf" or moving on. I'm comfortable being solo most of the time as well, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to have options. That's the real downer. Choosing to be alone amidst a wealth of opportunity can be liberating & exciting, being pushed into being alone amidst a dearth of opportunity is claustrophobic and just plain depressing.
snoqueen wrote:Madison is what you make it.
I think if you go into it with the attitude "what's in this for me?" or are looking for some specific kind of supposed reward, you might be disappointed. The attitude "I'm interested in this and I might meet nice people" is more realistic.
Really now? "What you make it" only goes so far. Everybody's looking for something, even when they pretend not to be. It's just how it goes. One could join ridiculous "activities" and "try new things" for years intent on meeting someone and come up empty. A waste of time if you ask me.
Huckleby wrote:Singles tend to be transient.
To be honest, it's always been my impression that there are a fair amount of 40-something singles (albeit usually haggard and w/baggage) trolling Madison's nightlife. The real challenge is finding [appealing] singles 25-39. That's where the transience really comes into play, as other, usually larger, cities tempt them away. Then they get married, have children or plan on it, and move back to Madison.
There are no easy or quick solutions. Improving a city's "singles scene" runs the gamut, including big changes (population growth, jobs etc.) to smaller changes (nightlife, perception etc.). Everything goes hand-in-hand.
I think that, much like attracting [quality] jobs to Wisconsin and decreasing brain drain, to improve cities like Madison and Milwaukee, we need to alter the course and in doing so alter the perception. Because no matter how unfortunate, many people (especially young people) decide to move to or move from somewhere based on perception, and not necessarily substance (since substance is much more subjective and internalized than some sort of communal consensus which after hearing it repeated so often can only be true).
And how do we change perception? It doesn't even necessarily require any one big sweeping change (recalling Walker an exception to that rule
), but lots of little things affecting a cumulative result.
Changing Madison's overall trajectory along with any established stunted & stubborn social constructs to fit a new perception however is Mt. Everest, a seemingly impossible mountain to climb.