What I Learned Watching Law And Order

How can cultural elitists like ourselves put TV in the Culture category? Well, where the hell else is it going to fit?
christopher_robin
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What I Learned Watching Law And Order

Postby christopher_robin » Wed Jul 25, 2007 3:00 pm

Inspired by

Cops will "let you stew in there for a while thinking about why they might have you down there." -jjoyce

christopher_robin
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Postby christopher_robin » Wed Jul 25, 2007 3:07 pm

If you murdered someone in a car, kidnapped someone in a car, or had rough sex that ended badly in a car, there will be exactly one hair in the car, no matter how clean or dirty the car.

The hair will belong to you. The gruff, tough-talking cops will find that hair.

Then you be cuffed and stuffed, and you will go to jail. While cheesy synth music swells in the background under the wailing sirens, of course.
Last edited by christopher_robin on Wed Jul 25, 2007 3:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

christopher_robin
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Postby christopher_robin » Wed Jul 25, 2007 3:12 pm

If you are a vendor of drugs or sex, the cops will know you by name. They will also offer you a "get out of jail free" card for really any scrap of information.

nevermore
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Postby nevermore » Wed Jul 25, 2007 3:18 pm

When that vein on McCoy's forehead starts bubbling, get ready as some serious lawyerin's about to happen.

magic moose
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Postby magic moose » Wed Jul 25, 2007 3:22 pm

Whatever you do, DO NOT line up peas at a crime scene. The socially inappropriate intellect will find them and bust yer ass.

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Postby meowzamusic » Wed Jul 25, 2007 3:24 pm

-That all the various L&O themes are just variations on the original cheesy one, each one a little gritier than the one before it.
-that if you're a chick lawyer working with McCoy don't count on job security
-that Fred Thompson will be our next POTUS

auntgoodness
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Postby auntgoodness » Wed Jul 25, 2007 3:53 pm

nevermore wrote:When that vein on McCoy's forehead starts bubbling, get ready as some serious lawyerin's about to happen.


Ditto when his voice cracks.

dudemeister
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Postby dudemeister » Wed Jul 25, 2007 4:13 pm

If arrested and advised of your rights, use them and keep your mouth shut, SHUT, SHUT!!! And call a lawyer.

Ducatista
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Postby Ducatista » Wed Jul 25, 2007 4:37 pm

If you say something inexcusable, follow it up with "Withdrawn."

I do use that from time to time.

Learned
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Postby Learned » Wed Jul 25, 2007 5:07 pm

It has inspired a kick ass coloring book.

auntgoodness
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Postby auntgoodness » Thu Jul 26, 2007 9:37 am

meowzamusic wrote:-that if you're a chick lawyer working with McCoy don't count on job security


"Is this because I'm a lesbian??"

Marvell
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Postby Marvell » Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:10 am

auntgoodness wrote:"Is this because I'm a lesbian??"


Oh man - if I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me, I'd be Bill frickin' Gates.

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Postby Wesmon » Tue Aug 07, 2007 3:38 pm

Criminals always confess their crimes.

CSIs are all macho bad-asses.

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Postby supaunknown » Tue Aug 07, 2007 4:29 pm

dudemeister wrote:If arrested and advised of your rights, use them and keep your mouth shut, SHUT, SHUT!!! And call a lawyer.

Ain't that the truth. How many times have we seen CI's Goren pull his fancy Jedi mind tricks on some sap that ends up confessing to everything? I'm watching the show clock at home going, "Dude, if you can shut up for the next three minutes you're FREE! They've got NO CASE unless you talk!" They always skweeel.

white_rabbit
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Postby white_rabbit » Tue Aug 07, 2007 8:11 pm

If you're a partner to a crime, and they arrest the both of you at the same time, and then separate you into different interrogation rooms, remember, he who flips first gets the better deal.


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