What's the worst class of advertisement on the tube today?

How can cultural elitists like ourselves put TV in the Culture category? Well, where the hell else is it going to fit?

What's the most offensive class of advertisement on the tube today?

Beer ads. If I want tits 'n' ass, I'll buy Penthouse, thank you.
1
2%
Feminine sprays and vaginal creams. If I want a graphic descriptions of cunts, I'll stick to Penthouse Forum, thank you.
3
6%
Those "ask your doctor" ambiguous pharmaceutical ads. What, are we all fucking retarded hypochondriacs?
29
55%
Fucking car ads. Quit plundering my music collection to sell your shitty SUVs!
18
34%
"As seen on tv" ads. Of course it's "as seen on tv," it's a tv ad! I wanna see that chef amputate his right arm and still slice that tomato paper-thin!
2
4%
 
Total votes: 53

Adam Sinclair
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Postby Adam Sinclair » Wed Oct 29, 2003 12:20 pm

Probably all done by Roach Productions!

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Postby Marge » Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:15 pm

alcobeat wrote:I'm an insomniac, so I often find myself in a weird advertising demographic. The three ads I see every night, without failure, are for Ambien, Life Alert, and Craftmatic Adjustable Beds.

I love the craftmatic (or is it Nautilus Sleep-Number Bed) commercial that promises " A lifetime of temporary relief" from various ailments.

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Postby roadkill bill » Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:26 pm

Jumping to radio a moment....

Those commercials for East Towne and West Towne [sic] sound like they were written and sung for a high school musical.

"Two great shopping places, East Towne Mall and West Towne Mall!"

GRRR.... makes me want to ram a bulldozer into both places.

What I want to know is, don't advertisers (and station managers) realize that the really grating ads make everyone reach for the remote or station changer? By running the worst of the worst screaming ads, they lost a viewer or listener for at least the next 10-20 minutes. Guess that's why I always end up on NPR or WORT.

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Postby droidsattack » Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:27 pm

I don't watch TV very much anymore, but when I did I would usually tune in at night while I was going to sleep. Lots of incredible infomercials these days. I like the one with the Good Feet Store, and the one with the pills that enlarge that "certain area" on a man. Everything is so low budget, and the people are so corny. It seems like they just grab those people off of the street and feed them lines to use for their expert testimonials.
I'd have to say the infomercial with the best testimonials is the one for that tool that sharpens all of your old drill bits. The people in that ad were saying such ridiculous shit like, "It used to be such a pain on the weekend. I'd have to get up, clean myself off, get out of the house and drive all the way down to the hardware store to get new drill bits. Now I don't have to worry about it anymore!" And "My tool drawers were all over flowing with dull unusable drill bits, but now I can turn them into a lifetime supply thanks to this amazing tool!" It's amazing how many stupid scenarios thay can come up with to fill that time slot.

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Postby Stepbrother » Tue Nov 04, 2003 4:52 am

can you hear me now?

good.

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Postby gaveatofc » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:52 pm

Another annoying local jingle: Capital Fitness... Capital Fitness... It's all about yoouuuuuu.... It's all about what you dooooooo... *GAG*

Universal advertising annoyance: Movie trailers that expose absolutely every plot point

Infomercial/As-Seen-On-TV annoyance: They show some poor schlep with absolutely NO motor coordination flailing about trying to accomplish a task, and then, suddenly, with the aid of this miraculous product, he can fold clothes like a pro, she can drain pasta without incurring 3rd degree burns and chop vegetables without losing an eye, even the family dog can Orange-Glo its way to a sparkling clean future. And why, for the love of god, does Billy Mays have to yell so much?!

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Postby Salt Shaker Tree » Sat Nov 15, 2003 4:03 pm

gaveatofc wrote:Another annoying local jingle: Capital Fitness... Capital Fitness... It's all about yoouuuuuu.... It's all about what you dooooooo... *GAG*

Universal advertising annoyance: Movie trailers that expose absolutely every plot point


Another local jingle, "Save big money at Menard's." They should change it to, "SPENDbig money at Menard's...and then you'll have to take out a second mortgage on your home, that your'e trying to improve with the stuff you buy at Menard's, and now you don't have any money for your kids college tuition but at least you SPENT big money at Menard's"
Well, I guess that may not be as catchy.

About those movie previews: Sometimes I feel that I've seen a second or third movie.

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Postby Salt Shaker Tree » Sat Nov 15, 2003 4:15 pm

I love it, when in the drug ads they tell you all the side effects that it may cause: Extra toes may grow, your nose will fall off, will make you pregnant if your a male, may cause nose bleeds during sex, will grow a third testicle, may cause lose of appetite after eating dinner, will give you headaches while sleeping, may cause hearing loss after death etc., etc. These lists are endless.
So they want you to take something to feel better even though it may make you feel worse? I guess you'd get so destracted by the side effects that you forget what your taking the "medicine" for in the first place.

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Postby gaveatofc » Sun Nov 16, 2003 11:17 am

Salt Shaker Tree wrote:I love it, when in the drug ads they tell you all the side effects that it may cause: Extra toes may grow, your nose will fall off, will make you pregnant if your a male...


"Women, girls, or girly men should not even LOOK at a Propecia tablet..." :shock:

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Postby lunatic fringe » Sun Nov 16, 2003 11:25 am

Salt Shaker Tree wrote:will grow a third testicle
"Eddie Torres The Extra Testicle"

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Ad Nauseum

Postby catwoman03 » Sat Nov 22, 2003 9:36 am

OK, the jingles that make me want to pull my hair out by the roots:

1) Cornbloom's Fine Footwear, In. step. with. your. life!

2) Everyone KNOWS that the hometown PROS are the people at Thrift Painting (my friends and I argue over whether the singer is male or female).

3) Mr. DuWayne's salon is quite a cut above the rest, etc.

Other, non-jingly ads that raise my blood pressure:
1) That LifeAlert ad when that one old lady at the end (in a PERFECT imitation of my bitchy grandmother [RIP] ) says: "All! Senior! Citizens!Should! Have! Life! Alert!

2) The new KFC ads that are trying to tout fried chicken as health food (ala Atkins).

3) Any ad that shows parents peering into a room to watch their kid reading a book that has push-buttons to voice the words of the book to them. GET IN THERE AND READ TO YOUR KID YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: Ad Nauseum

Postby Chuck_Schick » Mon Nov 24, 2003 1:17 pm

catwoman03 wrote:2) The new KFC ads that are trying to tout fried chicken as health food (ala Atkins).

Yeah, those fuckin' kill me. "Eat fried chicken! It's healthy!"

Of course, it's practically true in my case. My HDL is unstoppable. Just ask my doctor.

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Postby jtopless » Wed Jan 07, 2004 4:26 pm

emmy wrote:And how can we forget "George's Flowers! That can be arranged!" Have you noticed that ALL these local jingles sound alike, as does the announcer?? Is there only ONE ad agency in town?? Only ONE announcer? ONE group of jingle singers???


It sounds as if ALL the local spots on Channel 15 or 27 (can't recall exactly which one) use the same jingle company. Same terrible keyboard sound, same five or six vocalists, even same melody lines in a few. The worst? "U.S. Referral Network... Now that's good business..."

Ugh. Try putting the word "referral" into a song and make it sound cool. Impossible!

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Postby superman » Thu Jan 15, 2004 2:13 pm

ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM

They should bring back Terry Tate, office linebacker.


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