Just as an FYI - I don't recommend that you try this at home.
I sort of assumed that, at age 40, this kind of shit would get easier. Turns out that was just another thing I was wrong about.
But it does give me a chance to dust off this classic by Emily Dickinson:
After great pain a formal feeling comes--
The nerves sit ceremonious like tombs;
The stiff Heart questions--was it He that bore?
And yesterday--or centuries before?
The feet, mechanical, go round
A wooden way
Of ground, or air, or ought,
A quartz contentment, like a stone.
This is the hour of lead,
Remembered (if outlived)
As freezing persons recollect the snow--
First chill, then stupor, then the letting go.