I'll throw in a copy of the tenderly-illustrated Good and Evil black-and-white graphic novel version of the Bible
, by Michael Pearl (retails for $12.95!). It features such historical oddities as the Canaanites worshipping a Buddha statue, and a Pharaoh who looks startlingly like Yul Brynner. Winner gets one, plus a very educational pamphlet entitled "Pornography - Road to Hell
" by the same author thrown in for free. Loser gets two
, as well as a home-printed collection of old guy porn. Who said "lemon party"? (Google amongst yourselves, but at your own peril. I take no responsibility.)
Of course you'll have to find a way to take possession of these prizes, but that's your deal, not mine. It'll probably involve you buying me a beer or seven. I had to cart the [strike]damn things[/strike] beautiful tomes home from work, where they were sent for free.
See, it would actually be cruel and unusual punishment for me to put one
of these books into my library's collection, much less three
. But three is exactly how many I was sent, and I've been trying to find an occasion that merits the awarding these beauties as prizes.
You might be asking yourself, at this point: Why would I give away these prizes? Is it because I'm tired of hanging on to them and they actually suck (and suck hard)? Well, yeah, but no. Is it because I've gone quite mad? No. It's 'cause that Chuck guy's a real jerk, and Jesus hates him.
And that's exactly 250, according to Word.