opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Who's making noise in and around Madison? What's new in the business of making music around town? Review shows and CDs here. Please keep all hype in Hype Exchange.
Scott
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opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby Scott » Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:19 pm

So... the band I play with is opening for a Christian Rock Band !

We'll play the show of course, be professional and respectful and all... and the other band playing, Superman Curl, kicks ass. And I'll bet the christian rock band (I am trying not to name them here) will bring in a big audience of god-crazy college kids.

Part of me just really wants to have some fun with this situation, though...

If you were in our place, what would you do?

Should we paint a pentacle on our kick drum? Should we sing the Patti Smith version of Gloria? Should we allow the audience to pick the next song on the set list, stating that we believe in everyone's right to choose?

What have you got for me? The funnier the better, of course...
Last edited by Scott on Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:55 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Ducatista
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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby Ducatista » Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:26 pm

Replace any occurrence of "baby" in your lyrics with "fetus."

Ducatista
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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby Ducatista » Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:33 pm

Free condom with every CD.

Ducatista
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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby Ducatista » Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:43 pm

How does your frontman or woman look in sexy sackcloth? I think it's only proper that you honor the club's recent past with a saucy Jesus burlesque. Double points for a frontwoman. Nothing kills like Jesus drag.

Ducatista
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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby Ducatista » Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:46 pm

Kindly direct the visiting band to the "upstairs greenroom" — aka the Rising Sun.

Ducatista
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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby Ducatista » Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:49 pm

Start a rumor at Club 5 about a secret Scissors Sisters gig at the Freq.



I guess I could've put all those in one post. I'll yield the screen now.

Steve Vokers
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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby Steve Vokers » Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:52 pm

Got your setlist right here

Sympathy for the Devil
Mr. Crowley
N.I.B.
Christmas with the Devil
Shout at the Devil

:twisted:

Scott
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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby Scott » Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:00 pm

Ducatista wrote:Kindly direct the visiting band to the "upstairs greenroom" — aka the Rising Sun.



Ha! 5 stars for that one!

Perhaps you should be our honorary toastmaster that evening...

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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby Ducatista » Tue Nov 11, 2008 10:14 pm

If I were young enough to spend time in the vicinity of a Christian rock band, I'd take you up on that. 8)

Flat_Atom
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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby Flat_Atom » Wed Nov 12, 2008 11:23 am

Fetish outfits, a hot wax performance artist/dominatrix & burning upside-down crosses...or is that too subtle?

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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby supaunknown » Wed Nov 12, 2008 11:43 am

Hmm. A musical tribute to Robert Mapplethorpe? Or maybe have the Passion of the Christ playing on a screen behind you. Jebus getting the bejebus kicked out of him could really set the mood.
Hey I just noticed that John Caviezel and Jiminy Christmas have the same initials. Coincidence?

A band I'm in played with a Christian band once. Nice folks. We didn't know they were holy rollers until they hit the stage and started singing all faggy & shit. The moment when we all realized what was going on was priceless. It was like being dickslapped by Jesus.

I highly recommend that your band plays before the Christian band. Even though they're out-of-towners I'd wager they'll bring in a good-sized crowd that will immediately leave once Rex is done.

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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby O.J. » Wed Nov 12, 2008 12:01 pm

Do an ode to The Seven Deadly Sins.

For lust, you could cover Big Dumb Sex by Soundgarden.

For gluttony, how about Satan Gave Me a Taco by Beck.

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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby TheBookPolice » Wed Nov 12, 2008 12:13 pm

Only one choice:

"In the Garden of Eden" by I. Ron Butterfly.

Marvell
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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby Marvell » Wed Nov 12, 2008 12:14 pm

Other suggestions for your set list:

Jesus - The Velvet Underground
Jesus Is Just Alright - The Doobie Bros / The Byrds
Jesus Mentioned - Warren Zevon
Industrial Disease - Dire Straits

And make sure to have a giant reproduction of 'Piss Christ' projected on the back wall.

That should do it.

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Re: opening for a christian rock band- any suggestions?

Postby GenieU » Wed Nov 12, 2008 1:15 pm

In an odd way I'm jealous...you are actually lucky, I think...Please report back how it gos...

Anything by Sabbath is good but "Sweet Loaf" by the Butthole Surfers is even better...I've always wanted to do a vegetarian variation that would begin with "Seitan! Seitan! Seitan!!!!"


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